Finally!

April's issue of the AAP News, the official magazine of the American Academy of Pediatrics, included an article officially recommending parents keep their children rear facing in their car seats to age 2, not to age 1 as previously recommended.

It's about time!

For years pediatricians have been recommending parents turn their children around to face forward once they reach 20 pounds and 1 year... while the statistics have shown that children are 5 times less likely to be injured or killed in a car accident if they stay rear facing until they outgrow the seat's rear facing limits (between 30 and 35 pounds for many convertible seats). I've even heard stories of some pediatricians foolishly telling parents they can turn their children around earlier, like when they hit 20 pounds before 1 year.

Many parents take their pediatrician's word as gospel. I can only hope that pediatricians embrace this new recommendation and push the families of their patients to take it seriously. Extended rear facing saves lives!! No child should suffer an injury that could have been prevented had the child stayed rear facing in his car seat. Just ask Joel's grandfather.

We had done the research and didn't want to take any chances so we chose to keep Jesse rear facing through the limits of his Britax Boulevard. He didn't know any different so it wasn't really an issue. Sure, it was inconvenient at times. He screamed a lot as a young toddler and it was difficult to comfort him from the front seat when he was facing rear. He went through an awful phase of being afraid of the dark in the car. That was almost unbearable. As he grew, his legs bunched up and his shoes destroyed the back part of our seats. But we knew that in the case of an accident he was as safe as we could make him. When he reached 33.5 pounds at 2 years 9 months old, we turned him around. His seat's limit for rear facing is 35 pounds and with a winter coat, snow boots and full sippy cup, we knew he was close to the limit.

We don't know when Simon will approach 35 pounds. But we know that until he does, he will remain rear facing in his car seat. He might not think it's fair because his big brother is facing forward, but we'll know it's the best we can do for him.

Jesse on his last day facing rear - December 2008

Take a compliment

Mark Twain said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment."

What's the best compliment you've received lately? Ever?

In November I took Jesse for a haircut. Simon tagged along. Jesse sat so nicely draped in his racecar robe while the girl trimmed his hair. Meanwhile I sat in a chair with an overhead hair dryer chatting with the stylists while I snuggled, kissed and munched on Simon. About 10 minutes in, the owner of the shop stopped working on the head of hair in front of her and said to me with a huge smile, "It's obvious you really enjoy your children."

Wow. What a compliment.

When Jesse is on my last nerve and Simon's whining seems unending, I remember that compliment and try to enjoy my children as much as I do on a good day when everyone's happy and full of smiles.

What have you been complimented on? Take that compliment to heart. Next time you're frustrated or pissed off, next time you screw something up or feel like nothing can go your way, when that moody friend stops talking to you for no apparent reason, your husband acts like a total dolt, your mother gets on your nerves, your boss is a pain... Think of your best compliment. Take heart! You are good at something, you are a good person, you do something well.

Take a compliment.

"But I AM three!"

So says Jesse. He's been insisting he's three years old for months now.

Well, today it is official. My boy is three. My baby, my first born, my "best boy"... three years old. How did this happen?

Maybe because the details surrounding his birth are always present in the front of my mind even though I choose still not to face them all, it seems like it wasn't so long ago. March 18, 2006 was the most frightening, traumatizing, and heart wrenching day of my life. It was also the most glorious day. It was the day I became a mother. The day I stepped into the role I believe I was born to fill. The day my gorgeous red haired, blue eyed boy was pulled from my body. He did not breathe, he did not cry, his heart did not beat. God had his hand on Jesse Daniel and He breathed life into him and protected him and here we are three years later. Happy, healthy, full of energy, love and life.

Jesse is an amazing child. He takes my face in both his hands, pulls me toward him and says, "I love you, Mama," and gives me a squinty eyed smile and my heart melts every time. He's so grown up in many ways, yet still like the baby I recall in others. He wants to be independent and do it all himself, he speaks like an adult at times, he comes up with thoughts and ideas that blow my mind. He loves to snuggle in close, asks "Hold me like a baby" when he nurses, cries when he doesn't get his way. He challenges me and keeps me on my toes. I have learned to love in a way that was new to me, I've been more frustrated than I knew was possible, I have found patience within I never knew I had. He taught me how to mother, he led the way as I learned, as he grows I grow along with him.

I am blessed. I thank God for the miracle that is Jesse every day of my life. I love you, Buddy. Happy birthday!

First time meeting Jesse in the NICU - 14 hours old

Jesse's first dentist appointment - February 2009

Tattooed

I did it. A while ago, actually. But I realize I never updated here.

In January I got a tattoo. My "first tattoo" as Dawn, the woman who inked me, told me to refer to it as. She said it is hard for most to stop at one and I can see that. It was easy to do and I absolutely love my tattoo!

It all started last June. Scratch that. It actually started in June 1993. I went on a trip with my girlfriends to Ocean City, MD after we graduated from high school. I was 17. That trip was a blast. Wow, to be young again. But I digress... While at the beach, I considered getting a tattoo on my ankle. We went to the tattoo shop and I looked around. I had no idea what I wanted to get, I just wanted to get something. I was young, tanned, free, on a crazy summer trip with good friends, I needed to do something wild!

Then I thought about it. Did I really want Tweety Bird on my ankle on my wedding day? Or for the rest of my life for that matter? I was thinking no. So I decided to wait 6 months and if I still wanted the tattoo then I would get it. If not, then I would skip it.

Needless to say, once I returned home from the beach, I knew immediately I definitely did not want a tattoo. To be honest, I've never really been a fan. And then there was my mother to deal with. She actually told us girls to come home pregnant before coming home with a tattoo. She's not a fan either.

Fast forward 15 years to June 2008. My second baby boy was just 3 months old and I had been lamenting the fact that I was done having babies because it was practical and not because it was what was in my heart. Somehow this feeling worked its way into my head so deeply that I awoke one morning after dreaming that I had gotten my boys' names tattooed on my left wrist. The dream was so real that I started to consider getting a tattoo for my boys. While I am no longer a fan of Tweety Bird, will there ever come a day I will regret my children? I think not. The seed had been planted.

Still, being me - deliberate and practical to a fault - I decided to follow the same 6 month rule I observed as a teen. When I told Dan about it all, he suggested I get my tattoo as my Christmas gift if I decided I still wanted it in December.

For months I searched the internet for ideas, drew pictures, looked at photos of other tattoos, asked for opinions and ideas. And then one day, there it was. As soon as I saw it, I knew that was it. The symbol I wanted to honor my boys with. It's from some Australian organization - Barnardos - for a Mother of the Year award. I don't know the specifics, but when I saw the symbol of the mother gently cradling her babe against her breast, it made me think of nursing my boys, of holding them close, their warm body snuggled against mine, eyes locked in that gaze... That was it. That was what I wanted.

So in January, I did it. Dan came with me. I went to Dawn at Art Fx and got inked. It didn't hurt the way I thought it would. It felt like bee stings. A lot of them. It was less bearable when she didn't let up for a while, but it was mostly just annoying. I ate a lot of Dum Dums while she did it. Within 20 minutes of sitting down in the chair, it was done. Immediately, I loved it. I couldn't stop looking at it or touching it. It took a lot longer to heal than I expected or was told and I think it actually scarred a bit on one end. But it doesn't change how it looks.

I'm past the stage where I'm constantly touching it or looking at it every 13.5 seconds. Jesse hasn't asked for weeks when my tattoo will come off. Now it's just a part of me. Part of who I am. Just like my boys.

No regrets.

Boys and boobs

Jesse's 3rd birthday is a week from tomorrow. I wish I could make time stand still.

Jesse is nursing. The boys loves to nurse and nursing meets his needs and I'm happy to continue so we're not considering weaning at this point. Sometimes I ask Jesse how long he will nurse though. Just to satisfy my own curiosity.

Usually when I ask he tells me "Forever!" and then as I go up the chain of boys/men he knows he says he will nurse when he's that old... Landon (4), Joseph (6), Brandon (10), Chris (13), Daddy... he says yes to all of them.

Last night I asked if he liked to nurse and he told me YES! Then I asked how long and he told me, "For a while." That was different so I went up the line. "Will you nurse when you are as old as Landon?" "Yes! Yes, Mama!" "What about when you're as old as Joseph?" He thought about this for a little bit and then answered, "No. I think I'll stop nursing before then."

That's different. And I'm ok with it. I guess he's set his weaning date (for now) sometime between 4 and 6. Works for me!

Three years ago

I've been so sentimental lately in this month of birthdays. Simon's was 5 days ago and Jesse's is in another 9. Today I came across an email I sent out to loved ones on March 9, 2006 while I was waiting for Jesse to arrive. I remember those days, going stir crazy on bed rest, enjoying most of being pregnant (the crushing pelvic pain and PUPPPS I could have done without), but getting antsy to go into labor to experience the birth I had dreamed about my whole life and to meet the little man who kicked me while I tried to sleep at night.

Motherhood is more beautiful on this side, but I did thoroughly enjoy having that little life all to myself, growing inside my body like my own little secret relationship, the only one to know what he was doing at any time, imagining what kind of child he would be, what he would look like, etc. Pregnancy was a wonderful time in my life. I thank God I was able to enjoy it not only once but twice.


It is March 9 and our official due date was March 4, so I figured a little update was in order since some of you might be wondering if you missed the news.

You didn't miss anything. Little Jesse is being stubborn and doesn't want to come out. I am ok with that because I rather enjoy being pregnant and know I will miss it when it's over soon. I feel really good and relaxed and, though I want to meet my son so badly, I am ok staying pregnant a little while longer.

I have had pregnancy induced blood pressure issues for a while now and have been home on bedrest for a few weeks. Because of that and some test results on the baby's heartrate when I have contractions, there was talk of inducing me last week and then again this week. Luckily, they ran more tests which we both aced and they are allowing us more time to go on our own like I hope to go.

So we spend 5-7 hours at Magee having tests done every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We don't mind even though getting someone to drive us there and back is a pain sometimes. As long as we keep doing well on the tests, they will allow nature to take its course. If anything comes back with a less than favorable score, we will be induced.

So please pray for us to go into labor on our own soon, while we are both healthy and before my midwives start talking about induction just based on the calendar (they usually don't let you go past your due date by more than two weeks).

If you are on this list, you are on the list that I gave to my best friend, Amanda. She will send out an e-mail letting you know that little Jesse is here once he makes his appearance!

Until then, take care! :)

Here are some other bits I came across:

It's been a roller coaster, but I am glad they are allowing us some time to go on our own. The thought of a 3 day inducement (that's how long they said it might take since I was making no progress on my own at all) with all that medical intervention really didn't appeal to me even though I am willing to do whatever it takes if little Jesse is in any danger at all. I stayed up the night before my induction and prayed and prayed and the last minute tests were perfect! Now I am just praying to go into labor and for the strength to get through it naturally like Dan and I have planned for so long.

I talked so casually about the "3 day induction" my midwives speculated about. My Bishop's Score was low, my body was not ready to be induced, my baby not ready to come out on his own. Little did I realize at that point that it would indeed be a 3 day induction that would not even end in a vaginal delivery. I was still so hopeful and confident.

No clue how much he weighs. I don't think he'll be too huge though - he has room to stretch his little legs out at night when I am in bed. I can't wait to meet him!

Hopefully, I won't have to keep up the appointments too much longer. I keep taking walks hoping to get something going before time runs out.

Soon!

I laugh when I remember being convinced he was going to be about 7.5 pounds. I was 7lb 5oz and Dan was 7lb 9oz and I had it set in my head that he would be 7lb 7oz, right in the middle. Hilarious the way my pregnant, deluded brain worked then.

Yeah, nothing has worked yet. I have been threatened with induction three times now and every time it's imminent, the next test comes out fine and they send me home. Today, his amniotic fluid is really low, but his non-stress test was excellent, so I am home again. I am scheduled for induction on Friday if I don't go on my own before then though.

I had been scheduled for an induction that Friday, March 17. At my appointment on Wednesday, March 15, my amniotic fluid was dangerously low and we returned that evening to start the induction. It was another 3 days before my beautiful boy was pulled from my body, blue and limp. Sometimes it seems like a story that happened to someone else. I'm blessed that it was me and that he's a gorgeous almost-3-year-old today.

Happy (almost) birthday, Baby!

Wow. Where to start?

Today is the anniversary of the day that was supposed to be Simon's birthday. Our favorite midwife, Shannon, wasn't working that Monday so we moved the date of my cesarean to Tuesday, March 4, 2008, so Shannon would be there to be with us in the operating room with Dr. Kaminski to welcome our baby boy into the world. It seemed fitting also that Simon would be born on his brother's original estimated due date. We had looked forward to March 4, 2006, as the day around which we would become first time parents, never expecting for two full weeks to pass after that date before Jesse came to be with us.

It's hard to believe an entire year has passed since Simon's birth. It has been the fastest year of my life. Time started flying once we became parents, but the two years it was just Dan and me and Jesse definitely passed much slower than the time does when you've got two little ones to chase after. What a year it's been though! Simon is so different from Jesse. He's changed my few expectations over and over, teaching me - yet again - that I am no longer in charge and life is better when I follow the lead of my children.

I still carry many scars from Jesse's birth. It's not something that I will ever "get over" and move on from. I changed too much over the course of those three days of labor and I have yet to completely face my feelings regarding his entrance into the world. But I started my path to healing on the day Simon came to be.

Leading up to Simon's birth was agonizing. I had many fears. Would he cry? Would his lungs work? What if some freak accident happened and we came close to losing another baby? Would I be able to handle more? What if he ended up in the NICU like Jesse did? How would we make that work, could I go back to the NICU again without all those memories of Jesse's start rushing back in?

And then he was born. And he cried. And it was as though the sun was rising for the first time. Everything was going to be ok. I was going to be ok. I wasn't going to be defined by Jesse's birth anymore. It wasn't going to have the same hold on me that it did before. It's still there, still a part of who I am, nothing will change it. But Simon's birth lifted a fog of sorts that I had been in for almost two years. It was a new beginning.

And here we are one day away from the anniversary of that date. Simon joined our family one year ago. How can that be? It seems he was only born a few short months ago and it seems we've known him forever at the same time.

He's my chunky, lovable, adorable boy. I love his dark eyes and light, wispy hair. His whispering "dat dat dat" and light squeals welcome me every morning, reminding me that I am beyond blessed with yet another gorgeous boy to love and hold. Even overnight when I am exhausted from nursing every few hours, I thank God for the warm little body snuggled up against mine, his grunty little sounds as he feverishly sucks for more milk, his sweet smelling head and little chubby fingers holding tight to mine. I have been blessed with the most precious gift again.

In one year, Simon has gone from being a skinny little spider monkey with long chicken legs to a solid big guy who steals hearts wherever he goes. In his early days, when I was convinced he'd never latch to nurse and I was pumping and finger feeding him with a syringe, barely sleeping, frustrated, exhausted, discouraged... I never looked forward far enough to see where we'd be today. I plugged through one minute, one hour, one day at a time never realizing a year later he'd be a happy, healthy, beautiful boy, fed for 9 months exclusively by my milk, passionate to see me at the end of a work day to reconnect, content to lie snuggled against me as he sleeps.

Simon, you are my precious boy. I love you more than I can ever express in words. You've turned my life upside down again in a good way. You're a joy to be with. A pleasure to mother. My life is complete with you in it. You are my second born, but you are never second in my heart. I love you, Bubba. Happy birthday.

Good morning! Let's eat!

Simon suddenly woke up the other morning and decided to eat. Well, he really didn't decide to eat until dinnertime, but when he did, he packed it away! For a while we've been offering all kinds of foods. Sure we waited until he was almost 9 months, knowing breastmilk is best for him and he doesn't really need any other nutrition. But we didn't expect him to decide that breastmilk was all he really wanted. He had gnawed on a graham cracker or two, but that was as far as his interest in solids went.

The other evening though was a different story. I put some steamed broccoli in front of him and you would have thought he met his soulmate! He couldn't get it in fast enough. Blueberries were a hit also. More graham crackers... then we stopped. The fear of the unknown diaper to be got the best of me and he sure was a mess anyway. He's been doing really well getting his sippy of water to his mouth also.

Like we did with Jesse, we went with the Baby Led Weaning method of introducing solids this time around. No purees, no spoons, no Mama Led Feeding. It's all up to Simon to decide if he wants to eat and how much he wants to get into his mouth. He's in charge and it's going really well.

I'm back, Baby!

Ok. So maybe "back" isn't the term for it. But it's been a while since I've written here. And here I am.

After the car accident in October, I was in a fog of sorts. The pain in my neck and shoulder made it very hard to concentrate on anything - at home and at work. I was irritable, short-tempered, tired, pretty miserable. Around the 8 week mark after the accident I started to be able to use my right arm to open doors and hold the baby without wincing. It was a bit of a turning point. From there the headaches started to be less persistent and slightly less crushing. My shoulder and neck started to improve. Dr. Matijasic cleared me to go back to the gym, only lower body at first. It was hard to get back into the groove. It's amazing how fast what little conditioning I had achieved was lost. For the most part I was stretching and walking/running the treadmill and nothing else.

Last night I decided to attempt Zumba again. I've missed it so much! It was hard. Probably harder than the first time I ever tried Zumba. I couldn't do most of the arm routines without pain. That's not good. But I did well with the lower body songs and had a lot of fun! Some of the songs are new and Julie has mixed up the routine a bit since I was there last the Thursday before the accident, but when the familiar songs came on I got right back into the sambas and cumbias I know so well.

I made a new friend too! New Year's Resolution #4 in action - Put Myself Out There More. I ran into Zoe at the water fountain when we both ran out of water at the same time during class. We talked about the previous song, a little Russian-inspired mix, that was hard hard hard!!! After class we talked for a while. She has a hell of a handshake. I liked her immediately. When she asked if I was a college student, I liked her even more!

It's a start... back to Zumba, back to blogging, trying to get back to life as it was before. I still cannot wear Simon which breaks my heart. He was 7 months old when I stopped wearing him - prime time for babywearing fun and convenience! It's a shame. I wonder - if I am able to wear him again - if he will not want to be worn since we've been out of it for so long. I hate to think that my babywearing days are over forever and I can't even remember what we did the last time he was snuggled up tight against me in the ring sling. I'm trying to hope for the best.

I still have pain. When I attempt things that were taken for granted before to get back into the swing of things like Dr. Matijasic recommends (like Zumba), I have more pain. I guess I am not ready for some things yet.

What beautiful boys!

Allow me to brag for a bit.

Last weekend we went down to Phipps Conservatory to see if we could get some pictures of the kids for our Christmas cards. Simon's 9 month birthday was yesterday so this doubled as his 9 month photo shoot. My girlfriend, Christy, who has recently started her own photography business came with us since her eye and equipment are far superior to my own.

Phipps was done up beautifully! I spent so much time taking it all in and encouraging the kids to look at Christy that I didn't take many of my own pictures of the decorations. I hope we can get back again before they take down the holiday decor and re-do the Thai gardens. It was peaceful and gorgeous and I'm sorry we haven't taken advantage of the gardens more often. Jesse had a good time running through the mazes and Simon liked exploring everything around him, including the dirt. Ah, boys and dirt! A match made in heaven!

I can't believe my Simon is 9 months old already! Yesterday I was off work and took the boys to Lilliput for a playdate with BFF (the group that spun-off from MoMo when it went bust a few days before Thanksgiving) and then to the pediatrician's for Simon's 9 month checkup. He's doing so well! He's a shorty - 27.5 inches long - but a chunker - 22 pounds on the nose. Jesse is 33 pounds. Almost time to turn him forward facing in his Boulevard since it only rear faces to 35 pounds. Both boys received a thimerisol-free flu vaccination. Neither boy shed a tear or made a peep with their injection. Freaky, huh?

Anyway, enjoy a sampling of the pictures Christy took. I love them! She really caught the boys' personalities!

It's like looking at a baby picture of me!

I love this one! Dear Santa: Bring me all the toys or Baby Brother gets it! Love, Jesse

On having a second baby...

Simon lights up when Jesse comes in the room. He seriously almost gives himself whiplash trying to keep his eyes on every single thing Jesse is doing. Jesse puts on a show, dancing around, squealing and giggling, "He thinks I'm funny, Mama!" He sure does. For every time Jesse whips a toy from Simon's hands leaving Simon with a bewildered look on his face or when I hear Jesse shout, "No, Simon, I was playing with that first!" there are countless moments when I will hear Jesse trying to comfort a crying baby, "Don't cry, Simon. I'm right here!" or I hear the sound he makes when he gives a kiss and I hear, "I love you, brother." Oh holy hell!

I was amazingly worried about rocking Jesse's world with his brother. He was our life before Simon arrived. He was our miracle baby, our gift from God. How could any child compare? What on earth were we thinking wanting to have another? How would Jesse react to another child vying for our affections? In the days leading up to Simon's birth, I spoiled the heck out of Jesse, taking him for special trips, buying him toys, snuggling with him on the couch, lavishing him with every second of attention I could, second guessing our decision to have a second child the entire time. He'd "wisten" to his "baby brudder" with the stethoscope on my belly and giggle when Simon would kick. I'd ask if he was ready to meet his baby and he'd say yes, but I knew it was not the right choice and his world would never be the same.

I was right, his world will never be the same. But not in the way I was thinking. It's better. When I birthed his brother, I birthed his best friend, his favorite playmate, his punching bag, one to make him his punching bag... good, bad or ugly, Simon is not only a gift to us, he is the best gift we could ever give Jesse.

Facebook

Facebook is awesome.

Facebook is interfering with my blogging time.

Facebook sucks.

I promise to try to blog more. I'm happy when I get it out.

Facebook still rocks though!

Just what I needed today

With Simon approaching 9 months and another well baby visit with his pediatrician, I've been thinking a lot about our delayed vaccination schedule. As of right now, Simon has never received any vaccinations. I intended originally to refuse all vaccines early on in order to take my time researching and starting him at 9 months at the absolute earliest. As I researched, I considered not vaccinating at all though I've never felt 100% confident in that decision either. To complicate things is the fact that Dan is leaving this entire subject to me. It's a hard burden to bear alone.

Today I discovered a new blog with some compelling information, some factual and some anecdotal. I've already decided to take more time making my choice as to what to do with Simon. I will refuse again at this appointment and possibly start vaccinating at his one year appointment. Time will tell.

And other fall fun...

We had a few busy weekends! Lots of family fun! Dan's dad was in Chesapeake fishing so Dan stayed home from hunting and we packed that weekend as full as we could. We ended up with some really nice weather too!

Saturday we headed to Reilly's Summer Seat Farm to do a little pumpkin picking. Oh, that place is a blast! We usually enjoy Soergel's Orchards a lot, but Reilly's really does it up right for the kids for Halloween. Jesse went through a corn maze, a boo barn, got his face painted, went down a huge slide on a burlap sack... you name it, he did it! We all piled onto the hayride to take the long ride out to the pumpkin patch where he proceeded to choose the world's ugliest pock marked pumpkin as his very own. He was so very proud! While we were picking our pumpkins, we ran into the couple who was in the waiting room with us at Magee the morning of Simon's birth. Their baby boy, Matthew, is huge like Simon too - and he's oh so cute! He was born 2 hours after Simon.

In case you can't tell, that's Simon on the left and Jesse two years ago on the right. Simon is fully mobile so he wouldn't sit still for a nice picture like Jesse, who couldn't even army crawl at this age, did. Still, it's fun to have these pictures side by side!

The next day we headed to Idlewild for Hallowboo. It was fun! But what a crowd! We couldn't even get into Storybook Forest to trick or treat. It didn't keep us from having a good time though! Jesse rode the Ferris wheel, the Caterpillar (we used to call it the Centipede), and the big roller coaster! He was just tall enough! And he loved it. He's so daring these days.

Simon enjoyed people watching so much that he pooped out in the stroller. I wish I could have worn him instead of pushing him around all day (he would have napped much easier), but I am still in a lot of pain from the car accident. Simon screamed most the way home since it was dark and he was in his car seat. That made for an awful ride home - it's about an hour and a half. Outside of that though, I'm glad we went!

It was a busy and fun weekend!

Happy Halloween!

Can you even stand how cute they are?

Jesse-ism

Too cute not to record someplace and since the baby books are buried under a pile of paperwork on my desk...

Yesterday we had the kids at Idlewild for Hallowboo. It was fun even though the size of the crowd at the park was ridiculous. Jesse had spent the night before at Jennifer's so Dan and I could have a date night and he had stayed up hours past his usual bedtime playing and watching movies with Joseph. He didn't nap at the park and, while he did well all things considered, he was pretty whooped and cranky as all get out by the time we packed it up to go home.

Dan was pushing Simon in the stroller and Jesse insisted I carry him. I am still in a lot of pain from the car accident so I carried him a bit to appease him then I asked if I could put him down and could he walk and just hold my hand. He whined and cried and buried his head into my neck further.

A minute or two later I hurt too much to even continue walking let alone continue on carrying a 30 pound toddler. So I asked him again. He leaned back, looked me in the face and said, "Mom, I can't walk! My legs are too thirsty!"

Hilarious!

All dressed up... and someplace to actually go!

Saturday evening Dan and I enjoyed our first date night since before Simon's birth. Simon had been fussy so we sent Jesse off to his Aunt Jennifer's for a sleepover with his cousin, Joseph, and Dan's mother came to the house to care for Simon. I bought a new outfit, put on jewelry, Dan shaved... we did it up right. It felt funny to leave the house without buckling any rugrats into car seats, but we soon got over it when our anticipation of an evening out hit.

Our destination? The Sewickley Car Store's BMW showroom for the VIP premiere party and showing of A Ride Along the Lincoln Highway. Rick Sebak was there, his camera dangling from his arm, documenting what had to be a proud evening for him. I don't think he stopped smiling all night. Dan kept saying Rick reminded him of someone and I told him, "It's Santa Claus. You can think and think and you'll come to the conclusion that it's Santa. There's never been a jollier fellow!"

The place was packed. Outside of a few directors from work and coworkers who were there to make sure things went off without a hitch, we didn't know a soul. We got drinks from the bar, sampled some hors doe'ouvres from Remo's (who also catered our wedding - yum!) and checked out the Porsches and BMWs that sat glistening, just tempting us to come have a seat. I saw some of the people I knew were featured in the film - Buddy Nutt and Brian Butko - I'd seen many pieces of the movie down in the editing room and on Rick's computer when I'd stopped to BS with him from time to time. I introduced myself to Rick's mom and his sister, Nisey, who I've heard so many stories about over the years.

Eventually the lights lowered and it was time for the movie to start after a brief speech from Rick. He was very excited. And rightly so - the film was wonderful! It was delightful, interesting, informative... I wanted to be sure to remember my favorite part to mention it specifically to Rick afterwards, but I ended up with too many favorites to mention them all! It was that good. The crowd laughed so much in certain parts I missed what was said next! I can't wait to watch it again! Dan, who isn't entirely into such things, had a smile on his face when it was over. Actually, I think everyone did considering the last segment of the movie - what a way to end it!

When it was over I sought out Rick to congratulate him. What a wonderful premiere! Then we bolted. We were starving! We headed to Sir Pizza where we never get to go. We were overdressed but the pizza was delicious and the drinks were good. It was the perfect end to a great night.

It was nice to spend some alone time with Dan. We definitely don't make the time for it like we should. We should try more often.

For more information on Rick's newest movie, follow the link above or check out A Blog Along the Lincoln Highway for fun and antics that happened along the way while taping the movie. Some of them made it into the film and others didn't. Either way, it's a good read. For another good read, here's Brian Butko's take on the evening. And Rick's blog is now updated with his version of the night.

A Ride Along the Lincoln Highway premieres on PBS at 8pm on Wednesday, October 29 (check your local listings). See you there!

Hot Tortilla Pie

I've decided to start adding some recipes to my blog. So I'll start with Dan's absolute favorite. I love to make this without him knowing I am going to because he gets so excited when he finds out that's what we're having for dinner. It's a good wife moment to savor.

Hot Tortilla Pie

Preheat oven to 450º.
Cook and shred 1-1½ pounds of boneless chicken.
Toss chicken, ½ cup salsa & 1 tsp cumin in skillet on low-medium and heat through.

In a minimum 9" pie plate (deep dish works best), layer:
¼ cup salsa
1 tortilla
some of the chicken mixture
shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 tortilla
some salsa and cheese
another tortilla and so on…
Be sure to finish the layers with a tortilla and then ¼ cup salsa.

Cover with foil and bake 12 minutes.
Uncover and sprinkle ¼ cup cheese on then bake another 3 minutes uncovered.

Variations (I never make this dish the same way twice):
Rinse, drain and slightly mash beans (pinto are a good choice) insteadof chicken for a vegetarian meal.
Add 2 Tbs sliced jalapenos to beans or chicken mixture.
Toss in some low fat cream cheese when heating the chicken and cutback on the shredded cheese used.
Layer in frozen whole-kernel corn.

Once the pie is done, finish by sprinkling with fresh cilantro and/or ½ an avocado (peeled, seeded, and chopped) or top each slice with some sour cream.

Or make up your own variation and enjoy!

My socks are wet

And my kid isn't wearing any glasses. I need to vent!

Ever since this stupid car accident, I have been in a cloud. These headaches are so distracting. I'm having trouble getting my work done, I can't remember my grocery list, I feel slow and sluggish. I cannot concentrate well. The pain is there when I am sitting but when I stand up it's blinding, dizzying, at times unbearable. I want them to go away!

This morning I watched the news to see how the weather would be. It was 69 degrees at 7 am but it is going to drop this afternoon. Ok, yay, I knew to take jackets to daycare so Dan will have them for the ride home. However, since that's what I focused on I didn't have enough memory space for much else. It's pouring outside and I forgot an umbrella, wore classic crocs with the holes in them, never even realized I didn't give Jesse his glasses (like I've given them to him every. single. morning. for more than 7 months now) until we got to Donna's and she asked, "Jesse! Where are your glasses?" I feel like a crappy mother.

I feel like my head is going to explode! When I come home from work and yet another chiropractor appointment, it's all I can do to nurse Simon, muddle through some dinner, painfully bathe the kids and then lie uncomfortably in bed while Simon nurses down. I lie there trying to think of the millions of tasks I need to do when he's finally asleep, but they pop into my head and then they are gone just as fast. My house is a disaster, I probably have overdue bills lying on my desk, mail is piling up on the dining room table...

I just want to feel better. I want to go back to the morning of October 6 and leave 2 minutes earlier or later so I wouldn't get hit by that other car. So I wouldn't have this pain in my neck, back and knee. So these headaches wouldn't be happening. I just want to feel better.

And I want dry socks.

Friends across the miles

Jesse and Henry 2008 and 2007. Can you stand it?

My friend, Leah, and I live a few hours away from each other. Our sons, Jesse and Henry, are 11 days apart and her daughter, Evelyn, is 3 months younger than my Simon. Leah and I try to meet up midway once or twice a year to visit with each other. We've had picnics in Clarion, gone shopping in Grove City, visited an animal park in Pymatuning (I think this was a favorite for the boys)... It's never enough though. When the day is done and we part ways, it's very sad.

A couple months ago, Leah asked if I could bring the boys to stay at their house for a long weekend. How fun! We planned for the trip and as it approached I can't tell you who was more excited to go, Jesse or me. Staying at someone else's home is extremely far outside my comfort zone, but my desire to see Leah and the kids was greater than my anxiety, so the trip was on.

The weekend before last, I took Friday off work, packed the boys up in the truck and hit the road. The drive was very pleasant once the rain stopped - across the beautiful countryside of PA with some of the leaves already changing, through quaint towns with gorgeous old Victorian homes, across sparkling waterways and through rolling mountains. It went a lot faster than I anticipated and the boys slept most of the way. Even when they woke and I stopped to nurse Simon, they weren't antsy or fussy. It was a great success!

I was beyond excited to arrive at Leah's house. Seeing Evelyn so healthy and chubby was awesome (she suffered a cardiac arrest in July due to an undiagnosed birth defect and underwent open heart surgery here at Childrens Hospital of Pittsburgh, so the last time I saw her she looked very different)!

The boys were a touch standoffish with each other, but they warmed quickly. Leah lives in one of those amazing Victorian homes... her third floor is a ballroom! Gorgeous! I'm sure it's a pain to clean and heat, but it's the kind of house I love, the kind you imagine what it was like to live in way back when it was full of servants and the formalities of the times.

We had lunch and caught up while the boys played. Once Leah's husband, Chris, got home from work we had homemade pizzas for dinner and then the boys got a bath before bed. They were a blast together, just like peas and carrots! Oh, how I wish we lived closer!

On Saturday Leah made an excellent breakfast of waffles and bacon (Jesse was in heaven!) and later we all headed to a local Johnny Appleseed festival. The park where it was held had a great playground where the boys ran and played and climbed and just had a rip-roaring good time! Chris and Leah took Jesse for a while so I could sit and nurse Simon in a quiet spot. What a gorgeous fall day it was, sitting on a bench amidst the activity of a festival, nursing my beautiful boy in the shade. It was a moment.

That evening after the boys played more outside for a while we had a ham Leah had made in the crockpot (I need to start doing this, it was exceptional) and relaxed and enjoyed time together. All too soon the weekend was coming to an end and with it our time to be together.

Sunday, after I packed up all our crap and Leah whipped up a batch of banana muffins (seriously, she's like Super Mom or something), it was time to go home. I was very teary. Who knows when we will see each other again? The kids will be bigger, different. I missed Leah as soon as I drove away. I wish I had a good friend like her who lived closer.

The nicest thing about the weekend, besides spending time with friends I don't see often enough, was how relaxed everything was. Leah's house is like my own - the adults adapt to the schedules of the children, discipline is gentle, everyone respects everyone else. It was nice to spend time in another laid back home.

I hope that we see each other again soon. Before the babies are no longer babies at least. Thanks again for a wonderful weekend, Leah and family!