Just a reminder...

We all let our kids do things the experts say not to. Popcorn before age 4? Whole grapes when they're sitting still at the table? Toys labeled "Ages 3 and up" for your 2 year old? I know, especially since Jesse is so mature in so many ways, I have done all of these things and more.

The pictures on the grocery cart (and common sense) say not to let your kid ride in the basket part of the cart, but Jesse is very well behaved and sits still on his bottom when I ask him to. Simon is too small for most of the carts at Target with the seats in the bottom so we always let Jesse ride in the basket part of the cart when we shop if he doesn't feel like walking.

This past weekend, Dan worked and I had a conference to attend so Jesse stayed with my parents Friday and I took Simon with me to the conference (it was the La Leche League conference before anyone wonders what kind of person I am for taking a baby to a conference).

Anyway, I came out of the last session to 7 voicemails on my cell phone. My mom had Jesse at Home Depot and he told her I let him ride in the basket of the cart and she let him. He sat still on his bottom the entire time like she asked, but when she got to the car he stood up in anticipation of getting out and he lost his balance and went head first out of the cart onto the parking lot. It was about a 4 foot fall directly on his head. I was almost an hour away when I got the message. That was a horrifying drive.

We spent 6 hours in two different ERs on Saturday (my mom originally took him to UPMC Braddock because he fell asleep in her car on the way to the ER and she was worried so she went to the nearest ER and then later we transferred him to Children's) and went through the hell that it is to strap a 3 year old to a table for a 2 image CT scan.

That alone was a heartbreaking experience. Absolutely awful. I have never been unable to calm him. Not once in his life. My presence and reassurance has always been all he's needed. I felt so helpless. I actually stood back for a while and cried while the CT Tech tried calming him. Eventually, I had to lay on him and go into the machine with him after he screamed for 45 minutes straight and would not calm down enough to get the test. He has petechial hemmorrhaging all over his face, neck and chest from screaming for so long.

He must have asked to nurse two dozen times while we were in the ER. I just held him close and rocked him, my heart breaking because I couldn't let him have the comfort he desperately needed. If he would have had a bleed he would have needed immediate surgery so he was not allowed to eat or drink anything until he was cleared. Nursing Simon in front of him made me feel like I was betraying him.

Fortunately, he did not have a slow brain bleed like the ped originally suspected and he is going to be just fine. My mother feels absolutely awful even though I told her a thousand times it could have happened to anyone. I've never had a problem with Jesse riding in the basket and if she had called to ask me I would have told her it was ok to do so.

I will not let him do it again after this though. Please, even if your child is an absolute angel in the basket, know that this is something that can happen. I don't ever want to be scared again like I was on Saturday.

God had His hand on Jesse. He could have had a brain bleed, he could have broken his neck, he could have broken his shoulder or arm or landed on something that could have impaled him. He didn't come out completely unscathed, but a nasty goose egg on his head and some awful memories... I'll take it.

Finally!

April's issue of the AAP News, the official magazine of the American Academy of Pediatrics, included an article officially recommending parents keep their children rear facing in their car seats to age 2, not to age 1 as previously recommended.

It's about time!

For years pediatricians have been recommending parents turn their children around to face forward once they reach 20 pounds and 1 year... while the statistics have shown that children are 5 times less likely to be injured or killed in a car accident if they stay rear facing until they outgrow the seat's rear facing limits (between 30 and 35 pounds for many convertible seats). I've even heard stories of some pediatricians foolishly telling parents they can turn their children around earlier, like when they hit 20 pounds before 1 year.

Many parents take their pediatrician's word as gospel. I can only hope that pediatricians embrace this new recommendation and push the families of their patients to take it seriously. Extended rear facing saves lives!! No child should suffer an injury that could have been prevented had the child stayed rear facing in his car seat. Just ask Joel's grandfather.

We had done the research and didn't want to take any chances so we chose to keep Jesse rear facing through the limits of his Britax Boulevard. He didn't know any different so it wasn't really an issue. Sure, it was inconvenient at times. He screamed a lot as a young toddler and it was difficult to comfort him from the front seat when he was facing rear. He went through an awful phase of being afraid of the dark in the car. That was almost unbearable. As he grew, his legs bunched up and his shoes destroyed the back part of our seats. But we knew that in the case of an accident he was as safe as we could make him. When he reached 33.5 pounds at 2 years 9 months old, we turned him around. His seat's limit for rear facing is 35 pounds and with a winter coat, snow boots and full sippy cup, we knew he was close to the limit.

We don't know when Simon will approach 35 pounds. But we know that until he does, he will remain rear facing in his car seat. He might not think it's fair because his big brother is facing forward, but we'll know it's the best we can do for him.

Jesse on his last day facing rear - December 2008

Backwards boys

Let's talk extended rear facing.

Jesse is 2.5 years old. He's 36" tall and weighs more than 30 pounds. Yet he's still rearfacing in his car seat in my Explorer. Why? The law states he only needs to rear face for a minimum of 12 months and 20 pounds. He passed that ages ago. Why is he still looking out the back window like his baby brother?

The short answer is that it's safer. By far. Even with his long legs folded up! I could get into all the details and statistics, but I'll let a very loving and concerned grandfather do that for me. Sadly, this man's story is all too common.

This was posted by a grandfather at one of my car seat boards. It is a very sad story indeed, and explains exactly why rear facing past the bare minimums is so important.

First, meet Joel:

PLEASE, for your childrens sake, consider leaving them in REAR-FACING (RF) car seats as longs as you can. Although it is "suggested" by many people and organizations, that you can turn them forward facing at 1 yr/20 lbs, and seats are made to accommodate that, it doesn’t mean they will not be subjected to cervical spine injuries in an accident. Sure, it’ll hold their body in place, as it did for my grandson. But their head is thrown violently forward!! Actually, if you do your homework, front facing children "75% more likely to be injured" in a crash.

http://www.carseatsite.com/rf.htm

I am Grandpa, and here’s my personal view. My 18 mo old grandson, Joel, was injured in a front impact car crash 4 weeks ago. He is a "beefy" boy, weighing in at 34lbs and about 39" tall. According to his mom, the doctor told her it was "okay" to put him in a front facing car seat, because he was a "big boy". So she did. And he was securely strapped in the rear seat. The car hit a tree, for reasons unknown, at city speed limit of approx 35 mph.

At the accident scene, the EMT crew took Joel out of the car while in the car seat and all, and transported him to the hospital. They had to "bag" him at the scene to restart his breathing. The true miracle is that the ambulance was driving by, and some people flagged it down. They didn’t even get time to call 911. You can bet God had his hand in that!!! they were on the scene in about 60 seconds!!

Below are some photos of Joel, before and after. YOU decide whats best for your child.......not anyone else!!! He sustained dislocated top 2 vertebrae in his spine (C-1 & C-2). Some of the doctors put it in very simple terms...his skull, internally, became detached from his body... and was basically held on with his skin.

In the last few weeks, I’ve scoured the internet to find these facts:* a young child’s head is approx 25% of his/her bodyweight. If that were true of adults, my head (I’m 220 pounds) would weigh 55 pounds! As it is, an adults head is only about 6% of their body weight. So, kids are very top-heavy.* Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland recommend rear facing until 4 yrs old*

Look on You Tube at the crash test videos of front facing vs. rear facing. you’ll be amazed.

YouTube Crash Tests
Rear facing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qef1TXZ05Dg
Forward facing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMFPSStXfqE

See how much farther forward the forward facing dummy is thrown? How violently the neck snaps?* if a young childs spine is "stretched" a 1/4 of an inch, it could result in total paralysis or death.* and this is amazing! There was an article published in Pediatrics (the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics) earlier this year that states: "A recent analysis of the protection provided in rear-facing compared with forward-facing car safety seats has revealed that children under the age of 2 years are 75% less likely to die or sustain serious injury when they are in a rear-facing seat. This finding was true regardless of direction of the crash, even those crashes with side impact, which typically are the most severe."Parents may be helped to understand the importance of using the convertible car safety seat in the rear-facing position longer than 1 year if they are counseled that children are 5 times safer than when riding in a forward-facing seat into the second year of life."

After hearing about that, I contacted the AAP via email, and asked what their position is on this issue. Their response was "While this was published in the Academy’s journal, it does not necessarily constitute AAP policy" and "Because riding rear-facing does provide significantly more protection to children’s heads, necks, and spines, the Academy does recommend it for as long as possible, but the only minimum we have set is 12 months/20 pounds. This policy statement is under revision but is current at this time."

The policy statement is under revision.... at this time??

Do your home work folks!!! Oh, and you’ll also find out that in the USA, rear facing seats only go up to 30-35 pounds (depends on manufacturer). In Europe, whose testing standards seem to exceed US standards, the RF car seats can be purchased up to 55 pounds. AND, made by the same manufacturers as in the US.So, the question is, why can’t we get them??

And don’t worry about legroom. Sure, they can break a leg in a violent crash, but I think bones are easier to fix than a broken neck!!! Heck, it’s better to mount a portable CD player in the back window shelf and let them watch it, then to risk their life! Think about it....their body is strapped down to a car seat that is strapped down, and the car comes to an abrupt stop!! Where is their head going to go? FORWARD, and at a tremedous velocity!! The back of their neck/spinal cord is vulnerable to serious injury.But the BIG question is....... for you to decide. I know you want to see their darling faces. But you don’t want to see them in a halo.

I know this is a very long blog, but if it saves one child...or one family, the agony of what we’ve endured these last 4 weeks, it is worth the read!!

The pics below are about six weeks apart. he was eating cake by himself....very cute. And now, he is is headed for intense physical therapy. He does move his fingers and his legs, but he doesn’t pick up his arms. The therapy people are very optimistic, given the movement in his extremities. Doctors believe it was some compression of the shoulder nerves from the car seat straps across his collar bone area. You had to see those big, wide bruise marks.

Again...front facing will do it.!!

Joel now:

I would like to see:
the FF threshold raised to 24 months, and larger RF seats available in the US.

Thank you.

This little boy is VERY lucky he is alive. This is every parents worst nightmare, and I’m glad that I have the knowledge to help protect my kids to the best of my ability. And now I’ve passed the information to you. Thank you for reading!

Please see these sites for more information:
http://www.car-safety.org/basics.html
http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/StayRearFacing.aspx
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;109/3/550

(^ Recommendation 1-"for optimal protection, the child should remain rear facing until reaching the max weight for the car safety seat, as long as the top of the head is below the top of the seat back")