Brothers

I could blog a thousand times a day, everyday, on the subject of brothers. I don't think I can come up with anything cuter than two little boys loving up on each other. Well, maybe if you toss a few more boys in there to love up on their brothers... Alas, Dan is quite adamant that he is done as far as having more kids goes.

So anyway, I'll enjoy watching the two I have. Just this morning Simon was cranking away because his teeth (or maybe it's his ears, or maybe I'm just paranoid again) are bothering him and there goes Jesse, running to make sure Simon is going to be ok, "It's ok, Soimon!" in his sweet, little voice.

Melt my heart.

It's just lovely to see how much they enjoy each other. Even when Jesse says that Simon is "on him" or being a pain, he says it with a twinkle in his eye. And when Simon is pinching Jesse, he's usually smiling away when he is doing it. Wait, maybe that's not the same thing. Hmmm...

Finally!

April's issue of the AAP News, the official magazine of the American Academy of Pediatrics, included an article officially recommending parents keep their children rear facing in their car seats to age 2, not to age 1 as previously recommended.

It's about time!

For years pediatricians have been recommending parents turn their children around to face forward once they reach 20 pounds and 1 year... while the statistics have shown that children are 5 times less likely to be injured or killed in a car accident if they stay rear facing until they outgrow the seat's rear facing limits (between 30 and 35 pounds for many convertible seats). I've even heard stories of some pediatricians foolishly telling parents they can turn their children around earlier, like when they hit 20 pounds before 1 year.

Many parents take their pediatrician's word as gospel. I can only hope that pediatricians embrace this new recommendation and push the families of their patients to take it seriously. Extended rear facing saves lives!! No child should suffer an injury that could have been prevented had the child stayed rear facing in his car seat. Just ask Joel's grandfather.

We had done the research and didn't want to take any chances so we chose to keep Jesse rear facing through the limits of his Britax Boulevard. He didn't know any different so it wasn't really an issue. Sure, it was inconvenient at times. He screamed a lot as a young toddler and it was difficult to comfort him from the front seat when he was facing rear. He went through an awful phase of being afraid of the dark in the car. That was almost unbearable. As he grew, his legs bunched up and his shoes destroyed the back part of our seats. But we knew that in the case of an accident he was as safe as we could make him. When he reached 33.5 pounds at 2 years 9 months old, we turned him around. His seat's limit for rear facing is 35 pounds and with a winter coat, snow boots and full sippy cup, we knew he was close to the limit.

We don't know when Simon will approach 35 pounds. But we know that until he does, he will remain rear facing in his car seat. He might not think it's fair because his big brother is facing forward, but we'll know it's the best we can do for him.

Jesse on his last day facing rear - December 2008

Take a compliment

Mark Twain said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment."

What's the best compliment you've received lately? Ever?

In November I took Jesse for a haircut. Simon tagged along. Jesse sat so nicely draped in his racecar robe while the girl trimmed his hair. Meanwhile I sat in a chair with an overhead hair dryer chatting with the stylists while I snuggled, kissed and munched on Simon. About 10 minutes in, the owner of the shop stopped working on the head of hair in front of her and said to me with a huge smile, "It's obvious you really enjoy your children."

Wow. What a compliment.

When Jesse is on my last nerve and Simon's whining seems unending, I remember that compliment and try to enjoy my children as much as I do on a good day when everyone's happy and full of smiles.

What have you been complimented on? Take that compliment to heart. Next time you're frustrated or pissed off, next time you screw something up or feel like nothing can go your way, when that moody friend stops talking to you for no apparent reason, your husband acts like a total dolt, your mother gets on your nerves, your boss is a pain... Think of your best compliment. Take heart! You are good at something, you are a good person, you do something well.

Take a compliment.

Tattooed

I did it. A while ago, actually. But I realize I never updated here.

In January I got a tattoo. My "first tattoo" as Dawn, the woman who inked me, told me to refer to it as. She said it is hard for most to stop at one and I can see that. It was easy to do and I absolutely love my tattoo!

It all started last June. Scratch that. It actually started in June 1993. I went on a trip with my girlfriends to Ocean City, MD after we graduated from high school. I was 17. That trip was a blast. Wow, to be young again. But I digress... While at the beach, I considered getting a tattoo on my ankle. We went to the tattoo shop and I looked around. I had no idea what I wanted to get, I just wanted to get something. I was young, tanned, free, on a crazy summer trip with good friends, I needed to do something wild!

Then I thought about it. Did I really want Tweety Bird on my ankle on my wedding day? Or for the rest of my life for that matter? I was thinking no. So I decided to wait 6 months and if I still wanted the tattoo then I would get it. If not, then I would skip it.

Needless to say, once I returned home from the beach, I knew immediately I definitely did not want a tattoo. To be honest, I've never really been a fan. And then there was my mother to deal with. She actually told us girls to come home pregnant before coming home with a tattoo. She's not a fan either.

Fast forward 15 years to June 2008. My second baby boy was just 3 months old and I had been lamenting the fact that I was done having babies because it was practical and not because it was what was in my heart. Somehow this feeling worked its way into my head so deeply that I awoke one morning after dreaming that I had gotten my boys' names tattooed on my left wrist. The dream was so real that I started to consider getting a tattoo for my boys. While I am no longer a fan of Tweety Bird, will there ever come a day I will regret my children? I think not. The seed had been planted.

Still, being me - deliberate and practical to a fault - I decided to follow the same 6 month rule I observed as a teen. When I told Dan about it all, he suggested I get my tattoo as my Christmas gift if I decided I still wanted it in December.

For months I searched the internet for ideas, drew pictures, looked at photos of other tattoos, asked for opinions and ideas. And then one day, there it was. As soon as I saw it, I knew that was it. The symbol I wanted to honor my boys with. It's from some Australian organization - Barnardos - for a Mother of the Year award. I don't know the specifics, but when I saw the symbol of the mother gently cradling her babe against her breast, it made me think of nursing my boys, of holding them close, their warm body snuggled against mine, eyes locked in that gaze... That was it. That was what I wanted.

So in January, I did it. Dan came with me. I went to Dawn at Art Fx and got inked. It didn't hurt the way I thought it would. It felt like bee stings. A lot of them. It was less bearable when she didn't let up for a while, but it was mostly just annoying. I ate a lot of Dum Dums while she did it. Within 20 minutes of sitting down in the chair, it was done. Immediately, I loved it. I couldn't stop looking at it or touching it. It took a lot longer to heal than I expected or was told and I think it actually scarred a bit on one end. But it doesn't change how it looks.

I'm past the stage where I'm constantly touching it or looking at it every 13.5 seconds. Jesse hasn't asked for weeks when my tattoo will come off. Now it's just a part of me. Part of who I am. Just like my boys.

No regrets.

Happy (almost) birthday, Baby!

Wow. Where to start?

Today is the anniversary of the day that was supposed to be Simon's birthday. Our favorite midwife, Shannon, wasn't working that Monday so we moved the date of my cesarean to Tuesday, March 4, 2008, so Shannon would be there to be with us in the operating room with Dr. Kaminski to welcome our baby boy into the world. It seemed fitting also that Simon would be born on his brother's original estimated due date. We had looked forward to March 4, 2006, as the day around which we would become first time parents, never expecting for two full weeks to pass after that date before Jesse came to be with us.

It's hard to believe an entire year has passed since Simon's birth. It has been the fastest year of my life. Time started flying once we became parents, but the two years it was just Dan and me and Jesse definitely passed much slower than the time does when you've got two little ones to chase after. What a year it's been though! Simon is so different from Jesse. He's changed my few expectations over and over, teaching me - yet again - that I am no longer in charge and life is better when I follow the lead of my children.

I still carry many scars from Jesse's birth. It's not something that I will ever "get over" and move on from. I changed too much over the course of those three days of labor and I have yet to completely face my feelings regarding his entrance into the world. But I started my path to healing on the day Simon came to be.

Leading up to Simon's birth was agonizing. I had many fears. Would he cry? Would his lungs work? What if some freak accident happened and we came close to losing another baby? Would I be able to handle more? What if he ended up in the NICU like Jesse did? How would we make that work, could I go back to the NICU again without all those memories of Jesse's start rushing back in?

And then he was born. And he cried. And it was as though the sun was rising for the first time. Everything was going to be ok. I was going to be ok. I wasn't going to be defined by Jesse's birth anymore. It wasn't going to have the same hold on me that it did before. It's still there, still a part of who I am, nothing will change it. But Simon's birth lifted a fog of sorts that I had been in for almost two years. It was a new beginning.

And here we are one day away from the anniversary of that date. Simon joined our family one year ago. How can that be? It seems he was only born a few short months ago and it seems we've known him forever at the same time.

He's my chunky, lovable, adorable boy. I love his dark eyes and light, wispy hair. His whispering "dat dat dat" and light squeals welcome me every morning, reminding me that I am beyond blessed with yet another gorgeous boy to love and hold. Even overnight when I am exhausted from nursing every few hours, I thank God for the warm little body snuggled up against mine, his grunty little sounds as he feverishly sucks for more milk, his sweet smelling head and little chubby fingers holding tight to mine. I have been blessed with the most precious gift again.

In one year, Simon has gone from being a skinny little spider monkey with long chicken legs to a solid big guy who steals hearts wherever he goes. In his early days, when I was convinced he'd never latch to nurse and I was pumping and finger feeding him with a syringe, barely sleeping, frustrated, exhausted, discouraged... I never looked forward far enough to see where we'd be today. I plugged through one minute, one hour, one day at a time never realizing a year later he'd be a happy, healthy, beautiful boy, fed for 9 months exclusively by my milk, passionate to see me at the end of a work day to reconnect, content to lie snuggled against me as he sleeps.

Simon, you are my precious boy. I love you more than I can ever express in words. You've turned my life upside down again in a good way. You're a joy to be with. A pleasure to mother. My life is complete with you in it. You are my second born, but you are never second in my heart. I love you, Bubba. Happy birthday.

Good morning! Let's eat!

Simon suddenly woke up the other morning and decided to eat. Well, he really didn't decide to eat until dinnertime, but when he did, he packed it away! For a while we've been offering all kinds of foods. Sure we waited until he was almost 9 months, knowing breastmilk is best for him and he doesn't really need any other nutrition. But we didn't expect him to decide that breastmilk was all he really wanted. He had gnawed on a graham cracker or two, but that was as far as his interest in solids went.

The other evening though was a different story. I put some steamed broccoli in front of him and you would have thought he met his soulmate! He couldn't get it in fast enough. Blueberries were a hit also. More graham crackers... then we stopped. The fear of the unknown diaper to be got the best of me and he sure was a mess anyway. He's been doing really well getting his sippy of water to his mouth also.

Like we did with Jesse, we went with the Baby Led Weaning method of introducing solids this time around. No purees, no spoons, no Mama Led Feeding. It's all up to Simon to decide if he wants to eat and how much he wants to get into his mouth. He's in charge and it's going really well.

I'm back, Baby!

Ok. So maybe "back" isn't the term for it. But it's been a while since I've written here. And here I am.

After the car accident in October, I was in a fog of sorts. The pain in my neck and shoulder made it very hard to concentrate on anything - at home and at work. I was irritable, short-tempered, tired, pretty miserable. Around the 8 week mark after the accident I started to be able to use my right arm to open doors and hold the baby without wincing. It was a bit of a turning point. From there the headaches started to be less persistent and slightly less crushing. My shoulder and neck started to improve. Dr. Matijasic cleared me to go back to the gym, only lower body at first. It was hard to get back into the groove. It's amazing how fast what little conditioning I had achieved was lost. For the most part I was stretching and walking/running the treadmill and nothing else.

Last night I decided to attempt Zumba again. I've missed it so much! It was hard. Probably harder than the first time I ever tried Zumba. I couldn't do most of the arm routines without pain. That's not good. But I did well with the lower body songs and had a lot of fun! Some of the songs are new and Julie has mixed up the routine a bit since I was there last the Thursday before the accident, but when the familiar songs came on I got right back into the sambas and cumbias I know so well.

I made a new friend too! New Year's Resolution #4 in action - Put Myself Out There More. I ran into Zoe at the water fountain when we both ran out of water at the same time during class. We talked about the previous song, a little Russian-inspired mix, that was hard hard hard!!! After class we talked for a while. She has a hell of a handshake. I liked her immediately. When she asked if I was a college student, I liked her even more!

It's a start... back to Zumba, back to blogging, trying to get back to life as it was before. I still cannot wear Simon which breaks my heart. He was 7 months old when I stopped wearing him - prime time for babywearing fun and convenience! It's a shame. I wonder - if I am able to wear him again - if he will not want to be worn since we've been out of it for so long. I hate to think that my babywearing days are over forever and I can't even remember what we did the last time he was snuggled up tight against me in the ring sling. I'm trying to hope for the best.

I still have pain. When I attempt things that were taken for granted before to get back into the swing of things like Dr. Matijasic recommends (like Zumba), I have more pain. I guess I am not ready for some things yet.

What beautiful boys!

Allow me to brag for a bit.

Last weekend we went down to Phipps Conservatory to see if we could get some pictures of the kids for our Christmas cards. Simon's 9 month birthday was yesterday so this doubled as his 9 month photo shoot. My girlfriend, Christy, who has recently started her own photography business came with us since her eye and equipment are far superior to my own.

Phipps was done up beautifully! I spent so much time taking it all in and encouraging the kids to look at Christy that I didn't take many of my own pictures of the decorations. I hope we can get back again before they take down the holiday decor and re-do the Thai gardens. It was peaceful and gorgeous and I'm sorry we haven't taken advantage of the gardens more often. Jesse had a good time running through the mazes and Simon liked exploring everything around him, including the dirt. Ah, boys and dirt! A match made in heaven!

I can't believe my Simon is 9 months old already! Yesterday I was off work and took the boys to Lilliput for a playdate with BFF (the group that spun-off from MoMo when it went bust a few days before Thanksgiving) and then to the pediatrician's for Simon's 9 month checkup. He's doing so well! He's a shorty - 27.5 inches long - but a chunker - 22 pounds on the nose. Jesse is 33 pounds. Almost time to turn him forward facing in his Boulevard since it only rear faces to 35 pounds. Both boys received a thimerisol-free flu vaccination. Neither boy shed a tear or made a peep with their injection. Freaky, huh?

Anyway, enjoy a sampling of the pictures Christy took. I love them! She really caught the boys' personalities!

It's like looking at a baby picture of me!

I love this one! Dear Santa: Bring me all the toys or Baby Brother gets it! Love, Jesse

On having a second baby...

Simon lights up when Jesse comes in the room. He seriously almost gives himself whiplash trying to keep his eyes on every single thing Jesse is doing. Jesse puts on a show, dancing around, squealing and giggling, "He thinks I'm funny, Mama!" He sure does. For every time Jesse whips a toy from Simon's hands leaving Simon with a bewildered look on his face or when I hear Jesse shout, "No, Simon, I was playing with that first!" there are countless moments when I will hear Jesse trying to comfort a crying baby, "Don't cry, Simon. I'm right here!" or I hear the sound he makes when he gives a kiss and I hear, "I love you, brother." Oh holy hell!

I was amazingly worried about rocking Jesse's world with his brother. He was our life before Simon arrived. He was our miracle baby, our gift from God. How could any child compare? What on earth were we thinking wanting to have another? How would Jesse react to another child vying for our affections? In the days leading up to Simon's birth, I spoiled the heck out of Jesse, taking him for special trips, buying him toys, snuggling with him on the couch, lavishing him with every second of attention I could, second guessing our decision to have a second child the entire time. He'd "wisten" to his "baby brudder" with the stethoscope on my belly and giggle when Simon would kick. I'd ask if he was ready to meet his baby and he'd say yes, but I knew it was not the right choice and his world would never be the same.

I was right, his world will never be the same. But not in the way I was thinking. It's better. When I birthed his brother, I birthed his best friend, his favorite playmate, his punching bag, one to make him his punching bag... good, bad or ugly, Simon is not only a gift to us, he is the best gift we could ever give Jesse.

And other fall fun...

We had a few busy weekends! Lots of family fun! Dan's dad was in Chesapeake fishing so Dan stayed home from hunting and we packed that weekend as full as we could. We ended up with some really nice weather too!

Saturday we headed to Reilly's Summer Seat Farm to do a little pumpkin picking. Oh, that place is a blast! We usually enjoy Soergel's Orchards a lot, but Reilly's really does it up right for the kids for Halloween. Jesse went through a corn maze, a boo barn, got his face painted, went down a huge slide on a burlap sack... you name it, he did it! We all piled onto the hayride to take the long ride out to the pumpkin patch where he proceeded to choose the world's ugliest pock marked pumpkin as his very own. He was so very proud! While we were picking our pumpkins, we ran into the couple who was in the waiting room with us at Magee the morning of Simon's birth. Their baby boy, Matthew, is huge like Simon too - and he's oh so cute! He was born 2 hours after Simon.

In case you can't tell, that's Simon on the left and Jesse two years ago on the right. Simon is fully mobile so he wouldn't sit still for a nice picture like Jesse, who couldn't even army crawl at this age, did. Still, it's fun to have these pictures side by side!

The next day we headed to Idlewild for Hallowboo. It was fun! But what a crowd! We couldn't even get into Storybook Forest to trick or treat. It didn't keep us from having a good time though! Jesse rode the Ferris wheel, the Caterpillar (we used to call it the Centipede), and the big roller coaster! He was just tall enough! And he loved it. He's so daring these days.

Simon enjoyed people watching so much that he pooped out in the stroller. I wish I could have worn him instead of pushing him around all day (he would have napped much easier), but I am still in a lot of pain from the car accident. Simon screamed most the way home since it was dark and he was in his car seat. That made for an awful ride home - it's about an hour and a half. Outside of that though, I'm glad we went!

It was a busy and fun weekend!

Happy Halloween!

Can you even stand how cute they are?

Friends across the miles

Jesse and Henry 2008 and 2007. Can you stand it?

My friend, Leah, and I live a few hours away from each other. Our sons, Jesse and Henry, are 11 days apart and her daughter, Evelyn, is 3 months younger than my Simon. Leah and I try to meet up midway once or twice a year to visit with each other. We've had picnics in Clarion, gone shopping in Grove City, visited an animal park in Pymatuning (I think this was a favorite for the boys)... It's never enough though. When the day is done and we part ways, it's very sad.

A couple months ago, Leah asked if I could bring the boys to stay at their house for a long weekend. How fun! We planned for the trip and as it approached I can't tell you who was more excited to go, Jesse or me. Staying at someone else's home is extremely far outside my comfort zone, but my desire to see Leah and the kids was greater than my anxiety, so the trip was on.

The weekend before last, I took Friday off work, packed the boys up in the truck and hit the road. The drive was very pleasant once the rain stopped - across the beautiful countryside of PA with some of the leaves already changing, through quaint towns with gorgeous old Victorian homes, across sparkling waterways and through rolling mountains. It went a lot faster than I anticipated and the boys slept most of the way. Even when they woke and I stopped to nurse Simon, they weren't antsy or fussy. It was a great success!

I was beyond excited to arrive at Leah's house. Seeing Evelyn so healthy and chubby was awesome (she suffered a cardiac arrest in July due to an undiagnosed birth defect and underwent open heart surgery here at Childrens Hospital of Pittsburgh, so the last time I saw her she looked very different)!

The boys were a touch standoffish with each other, but they warmed quickly. Leah lives in one of those amazing Victorian homes... her third floor is a ballroom! Gorgeous! I'm sure it's a pain to clean and heat, but it's the kind of house I love, the kind you imagine what it was like to live in way back when it was full of servants and the formalities of the times.

We had lunch and caught up while the boys played. Once Leah's husband, Chris, got home from work we had homemade pizzas for dinner and then the boys got a bath before bed. They were a blast together, just like peas and carrots! Oh, how I wish we lived closer!

On Saturday Leah made an excellent breakfast of waffles and bacon (Jesse was in heaven!) and later we all headed to a local Johnny Appleseed festival. The park where it was held had a great playground where the boys ran and played and climbed and just had a rip-roaring good time! Chris and Leah took Jesse for a while so I could sit and nurse Simon in a quiet spot. What a gorgeous fall day it was, sitting on a bench amidst the activity of a festival, nursing my beautiful boy in the shade. It was a moment.

That evening after the boys played more outside for a while we had a ham Leah had made in the crockpot (I need to start doing this, it was exceptional) and relaxed and enjoyed time together. All too soon the weekend was coming to an end and with it our time to be together.

Sunday, after I packed up all our crap and Leah whipped up a batch of banana muffins (seriously, she's like Super Mom or something), it was time to go home. I was very teary. Who knows when we will see each other again? The kids will be bigger, different. I missed Leah as soon as I drove away. I wish I had a good friend like her who lived closer.

The nicest thing about the weekend, besides spending time with friends I don't see often enough, was how relaxed everything was. Leah's house is like my own - the adults adapt to the schedules of the children, discipline is gentle, everyone respects everyone else. It was nice to spend time in another laid back home.

I hope that we see each other again soon. Before the babies are no longer babies at least. Thanks again for a wonderful weekend, Leah and family!

Brotherly love

Make my heart melt, why don't you?

Can I get a "Holy Cow!!!"????

10,000 ounces.

That's how much milk I have pumped thus far. In fact, I reached that milestone a few squirts ago as I am pumping as I type this entry.

Jesse will turn 2.5 years old tomorrow. I started pumping on his birth day, March 18, 2006. His was a rough entry into this world and he was quickly whisked away from me (before I even laid eyes on his beautiful face) and taken to the NICU. Once I finally stopped bleeding enough to be released from Recovery and taken to the Special Care unit at Magee, I was greeted by a wonderful nurse who reminded me somewhat of Dan's Aunt Debbie by the way she talked and her mannerisms. She asked how long ago my baby was born and if I was able to nurse him at all. I told her he had been born 11 hours earlier and I had never even seen him. She left the room for a minute and came back with a Medela Symphony on a wheeled stand and told me I had to start pumping immediately. And that's how it all began.

I pumped for Jesse and my colostrum was fed to him in his bottles of formula in the NICU. On his fifth day of life I was able to attempt to put him to breast. Of course, by that point he wanted easy food from that dummy nipple so it wasn't smooth sailing for us. But with the help of a wonderful lactation consultant, Diana Jordan, who came to our home once he was released from the NICU and worked with us one on one, we got him to take the breast eventually. I pumped and bottle fed him for a while though until he figured it out. (Major props go out to all those moms who exclusively pump for their babies for one reason or another. I have EPed for a couple months total between my two boys and I cannot imagine doing it long term. A special shout out to my friend, Betsy, who pumped for her twin girls for 21 months. She rocks something fierce!) After Jesse got it, I still had to pump for relief since I was graced with a raging oversupply of milk. I had mastitis twice, recurring painful clogged ducts, blebs, leaking, spraying wasn't able to feed my baby in public for fear of showering everyone in a six foot area with my own liquid gold...

Once I returned to work, I didn't mind pumping for my special boy. It was a way to feel like I was doing something for him while we were apart, a way to feel connected. With all my milk though, I had more than Jesse could ever take and through the Yahoo MilkShare group I was able to find a local family whose mama was unable to make enough milk for her baby. I donated about 1,200 ounces to Melissa and Gabe in the fall/winter of 2006/2007.

As Jesse grew and got more into solid foods, I was able to decrease my frequency of pumping at work. When he was 11.5 months old I was able to go from pumping every 3 hours to pumping every 4 hours. Then when he was 14 months old I went down to pumping once a day at work. By the time he was 16 months old and I was a few months pregnant with Simon, my milk supply had diminished enough that I was comfortable not pumping at all while away from him for the day. He still took my breastmilk (from my ample freezer stash) in a cup at daycare until he was almost 21 months old.

With Simon's birth being a (mandatory) repeat cesarean, scheduled and controlled, I always thought he would just come out ready to nurse and I planned to do so as soon as I was able to in Recovery. We tried and tried but the poor boy couldn't latch effectively. He would try to suckle but his mouth was so small and his tongue would just push my nipple out again. We were both very frustrated. Even more frustrating was how long it took to get a lactation consultant to see me in the hospital. When one finally came, I got set up with a pump again.

Again, back to see Diana (this time at the Breastfeeding Center of Pittsburgh) and again back to pumping. I used syringes and finger fed him while trying to latch him along the way for a month until he latched and ate one day when I attempted (oh the tears of joy!!!). After I was sure he could sustain himself by breastfeeding exclusively, I tossed the syringes and packed up the pump. I had already built a stash of milk in the freezer since I was graced with an oversupply again this time around, so I had no need to pump until I came back to work.

Simon's demand for milk wasn't as great as Jesse's and my oversupply isn't as raging this time around (thanks to sage tea) so I was able to go to pumping every 4 hours from every 3 hours by the time Simon was 4 months old. I like this schedule a lot better, pumping at 10 am and 2 pm each day instead of 9, 12 and 3.

I am getting ready to donate milk again, this time to Jo and her twin preemie girls. I hope that I am able to help them out for a while and not just make the one donation.

Someday Simon will start solids and need my milk less and less while we are apart. I pray he continues to want to nurse into his third year (and beyond) like his older brother has, but I admit that I will not miss this darn pump when it's time for me to hang up my horns for good! No scheduling around pump times, no tingly hot feeling when I have to push a session back, no more cow sign on my door of my office, hauling expressed milk back and forth to the fridge, mentally figuring warm storage time and how many more ounces I need to make this week's bottles, spending $10 every couple weeks at work for Lansinoh freezer bags...

In the meantime, I'll keep updating my spreadsheet so I know what's in my inventory at all times. I'll keep pumping as many times a day as Simon requires me to. And I'll keep adding to my 10,000 ounces.

Holy cow, indeed.

Poor Bub

Poor little Simon. Tonight was his first ER visit. His first ear infection. When I went to dry him off after his bath and he screamed bloody murder when I touched his left ear, I knew it. We took him into Passavant to have it confirmed though. With the wind from Ike blasting the 'Burgh, they were swamped. And with us going in outside of regular channels, we expected a bit of a wait. Luckily the whole thing took a touch less than 3 hours and we were able to be on our way about a half hour after the entire North Hills lost power (including the hospital - very eerie, indeed).

Dr. S was a saint to take his time to see Simon under the table. He did a full examination and confirmed that the left ear is red and inflamed, no fluid yet though. He promptly wrote a script for amoxicillin. We thanked him profusely, thanked the nurses who came to coo over Simon, and went on our way.

By this age, Jesse had already had 2 or 3 ear infections. Not knowing any better, we filled the amoxicillin every time... until it stopped working. Then we filled the next antibiotic. Then the next. Then we dealt with the runny diapers, the raw behind, the resulting impetigo on his bum (which the ped wanted to treat with yet more antibiotics!). Eventually, I had an aha! moment. There had to be a better way.

I started taking Jesse to my chiropractor. Dr. Brian helped align his neck and voila, no more ear infections! Not a one. Not even a hint since he started seeing Dr. Brian.

I've still got the script from Dr. S. But I'm not filling it. We're going to take the "wait and see" approach. Simon will see Dr. Brian tomorrow. If I can't find some garlic mullein oil, I'll make it. Well, I'll at least make garlic oil since finding herbs in Pittsburgh is like finding a snowsuit in Arizona in July. But I'll see what I can do. Then we'll go back to the pediatrician later in the week to see how his ears are doing.

In the meantime, extra snuggles and lots of nursing. My poor little bub.

That was rough!

What's worse than one sick kid? Two sick kids.

What's worse than two sick kids? Being sick at the same time.

That was not fun. Luckily, both my babies are feeling better now and I am back to work. Poor little peanuts. They are both troupers. Jesse wasn't as bad as Simon (though there was a pretty nasty poop episode resulting in poopy footprints all through my kitchen) and Simon smiles through everything even when he's sporting a fever and utterly miserable.

Maybe our immune systems got a little boost that will see us through the winter. One can hope.

My little daredevil!

We took the kids to the Stoneboro Fair over Labor Day weekend. Jesse had a great time! He rode the motorcycles (over and over), sat on tractors, checked out farm-grown fruits and vegetables, liked the cows and pigs... It was a good time. Simon liked watching people and stopping every hour and a half to nurse. Darn 6 month growth spurt!

When we spotted the bungie jump, we weren't sure if Jesse would A) be big enough to go on it (he was too short for the little kid swings) or B) want to go on it. But he was all smiles as we stood in line watching the other (older) kids and adults take their turns. Then it was his turn. He loved it! I'll let the video do the talking.

Rock a Baby

How is it fair that the second baby tends to grow up faster than the first one did?

Even though I am resting easy, not looking for that next big milestone, trying to just revel in all of Simon's babyness... he is growing up faster than I ever remember Jesse growing!

He's pushing up onto his knees and rocking. What? Why? He's 5 months old! Jesse army crawled at 7 or 8 months and didn't start really getting up onto his knees until he started crawling for real around 9 months. He only ever rolled from back to belly and he only did it in one direction.

Then there's Simon. He rolls back to belly, belly to back, left, right, all over the place. He's trying to sit up doing those little baby crunches that make his tummy look like a big ball of bread dough. And now the rocking on the knees. He gets so determined, pulls his legs up under himself, pushes up and looks so surprised at what he just accomplished! Then he gets a big grin and starts rocking feverishly back and forth, squealing with delight!



I want to tell him to stop growing so fast! I want him to stay a baby for a while longer. I want to go back for a day to the sleepless, exhausting days when he was a skinny chicken legged newborn with furry cheeks and shoulders and alien-like eyes growing from the sides of his head making those little squeaky sounds when he moved around stretching and startling.


Now he's almost 6 months old and it's gone much too fast! What's next? Teeth? Crawling? Talking, walking... driving? I swear, sometimes it feels like it moves that fast.

How lucky am I? - Wordless Wednesday

Whirlwind weekend!

Whew! It wasn't fun getting up for work this morning, but I think I'll appreciate some peace and quiet at my desk today. This weekend kicked my butt!

Friday morning I hosted my first mom's group event. Seven moms and fifteen kids descended upon the firehall for a tour. The kids climbed all over the engines and rolls of hose, tried on fireman pants and boots, met Mr. Timmy and Mr. Eric (who were more than awesome, by the way) and then ate Subway sandwiches and cookies and ran around the back meeting room screaming and giggling. It was a blast! I met a bunch of new moms and everyone seemed to have a great time. I know Jesse was very proud to show off "his" firehall.

After trying to get the boys down for a nap for more than 2 hours, it was time to meet my parents for dinner. Despite being wound up and unnapped, both boys did great at Bob Evans. I had to take Jesse out once to talk to him about the difference between inside voices and outside voices. Otherwise, they were angels. Jesse's third two year molar popped through on Thursday too, so it's even more impressive how well behaved he's been.

Then off to the Pirates game. The first MLB game for either boy. What a fun time! Dan didn't come so it was me and the boys, my mom and dad, Jen, John, Johnny, Joseph (my older sister and her family), Ashley, Lee, Landon, Anna Lisa (my younger sister, her boyfriend and kids), and John's friend Chet and his girlfriend. We went to Guest Services to get Jesse a bracelet with his name and my phone number and his seat location. I told him it was his special bracelet for going to his first game and he wore it most of the weekend. He loved the game! He really liked the pierogie races even though our pick, Chester, didn't win. Simon enjoyed watching all the people and hearing the crowd. He nursed through a few innings and rode along in the mei tai.



We took the kids to the playground in the park and Jesse loved playing baseball with his cousins and climbing on the cool playground equipment. He was fired up! After that I was beat and needed to go. We got to the car just in time to catch a few of the fireworks (it was Skyblast which is a concert and fireworks after the game) and then saw more from the parkway. Both boys stayed awake the whole way home and Jesse screamed bloody murder in the shower with Dan. I can't blame him - it was after 10:30 at night - but a few neighbors asked what was wrong the next day.

Saturday I went with Beth to shop gyms. We've decided to join Club Julian. I'm excited! I really hope we have the determination to stick with it. I feel so much better when I am physical.

Then Dan and I and the boys were off to a luau in Monroeville for my mom's group, MoMo. It was at a lovely park with a great playground and baseball and soccer fields for Jesse to run. Simon and I played in the shade on a blanket, Jesse made a little girlfriend, and we ate wonderful food. The picnic was big so it was hard to talk to any one person for too long, but it was nice to see moms I've connected with before.

Sunday after visiting next door with the Lukeharts I made all my cleaners while Simon napped and Jesse played next door. Laundry soap, fabric softener, dishwasher detergent, disinfectant, all purpose cleaner, glass cleaner, fruit and veggie wash... I am done making cleaners for a while. It's nice to be done with all of that!

Later we took the kids to Eat 'N Park where they did great again. Jesse impresses me so often! Simon sat in a highchair with his kozypal cover to help hold him up. He is sitting up more and more these days! He got a little restless but then Jesse played a kind of peek a boo game with him. Jesse was looking across the table at Simon squealing, "What are you up to over there???" and Simon would peek from behind his toy suctioned to the table in front of him and giggle and screech. They were too cute together. They ended up with their chins on the table going back and forth, smiling, giggling, entertaining each other. Brothers! Awesome!

Off to play putt putt for the first time as a family. That was fun. I can't even tell you who enjoyed it most - Dan and I laughed at Jesse so much, Simon tried eating all the plants he came in contact with, Jesse loved his red golf ball and putter. We got ice cream at Dairy Queen afterwards and then came home to collapse into bed.

Wow! We have done so much this summer! It's been fun.